Performance Anxiety:
Okay look, I’m sorry… this doesn’t happen to me very often. As a matter of fact, when I was younger, it never, ever happened… it’s just that, well, since I’ve gotten a little older, and I’ve been under a lot of stress at work lately… no it’s not you… definitely… I just, well I can’t really explain it right now… but it’s not you, it’s me, okay… I’m a fairly sensitive guy, so I know that sometimes there’s something lacking in our relationship, and I’m fully aware that it’s my fault, I’m just not sure what to do about it… look I’m really tired, can we talk about this tomorrow?
Yes, these are the jokes… folks, sometimes I’ll be orgasmically (well… at least pleasingly… okay slightly) humorous, and at other times a flaccid waste of a few short minutes of your life.
I don’t want to make anyone ejaculate hot coffee from their nostrils, spewing globs of creamy liquid all over their computer monitor, shorting it out and voiding the warranty, but I also don’t want to be the most unsatisfying read ever in the history of boredom.
Since my page isn’t based on reading the morning paper and quipping on the various news stories, picking apart the foolish ranting of my favorite political idiot, or retelling some joke I heard in the bar last night, occasionally I’m going to come up short (story of my life) in the old humor department, at times like this, I really need you to be supportive and not pressure me, ‘cause that’ll only make it worse, and also please don’t judge me after reading me just once, try me again and again, It gets better the more we get to know each other.
So now every Monday is going to be “Just Irrelevant Subjects Monday,” or JISM for short. Anything that anyone wants to debate, discuss, relate, get off their ample bosoms, get my opinion on, or input on, or any other little tidbit about the euphoric enigma that is (change to Miss Piggy voice) “Moi” (change back to normal) you may care to know about… just put it in ‘comment’ form and shove it in the space I have provided under the post.
Every comment will be reviewed by my staff of interns, and anything that is deemed ‘not illegal’ or ‘not a threat to my personal safety’ will be responded to in the form of a well thought out, and possibly entertaining post.
Yes, these are the jokes… folks, sometimes I’ll be orgasmically (well… at least pleasingly… okay slightly) humorous, and at other times a flaccid waste of a few short minutes of your life.
I don’t want to make anyone ejaculate hot coffee from their nostrils, spewing globs of creamy liquid all over their computer monitor, shorting it out and voiding the warranty, but I also don’t want to be the most unsatisfying read ever in the history of boredom.
Since my page isn’t based on reading the morning paper and quipping on the various news stories, picking apart the foolish ranting of my favorite political idiot, or retelling some joke I heard in the bar last night, occasionally I’m going to come up short (story of my life) in the old humor department, at times like this, I really need you to be supportive and not pressure me, ‘cause that’ll only make it worse, and also please don’t judge me after reading me just once, try me again and again, It gets better the more we get to know each other.
So now every Monday is going to be “Just Irrelevant Subjects Monday,” or JISM for short. Anything that anyone wants to debate, discuss, relate, get off their ample bosoms, get my opinion on, or input on, or any other little tidbit about the euphoric enigma that is (change to Miss Piggy voice) “Moi” (change back to normal) you may care to know about… just put it in ‘comment’ form and shove it in the space I have provided under the post.
Every comment will be reviewed by my staff of interns, and anything that is deemed ‘not illegal’ or ‘not a threat to my personal safety’ will be responded to in the form of a well thought out, and possibly entertaining post.
Wrote'd by: Trouble at 14:10
7 Comments:
At Mon Jan 31, 09:34:00 PM,
Anonymous said…
Ok, you're on. Here we go:
Was the HIV virus developed in a U.S. Lab (with the purpose of killing out black people and homosexuals, was it some freak occurrence of nature, or the visitation of the wrath of a vengeful God?
Mad Bull
At Mon Jan 31, 10:23:00 PM,
Trouble said…
I will attack this one with fervor MB, when I return from the bar, and are more apt to analytical thinking... and thanks for the idea... trying to get me killed huh?
At Mon Jan 31, 11:00:00 PM,
Melody said…
A tall mechanic an' a short mechanic are walkin' together, de short mechanic's de tall mechanic's son, but de tall mechanic isn't his father? How can that B?
At Tue Feb 01, 01:51:00 AM,
Anonymous said…
I just want to know if any of the interns are hot, female, and single.
Some of those may also be negotiable.
~MoFo
At Tue Feb 01, 10:16:00 AM,
Anonymous said…
Melody (such a pretty name), any feminist or forward thinking man would recognize the use of misdirection by using ‘mechanics’ in the riddle, implying that only men can hold the position, and ‘tall’ also implying a man’s stature… it’s his mom darlin’.
At Tue Feb 01, 10:24:00 AM,
Trouble said…
Did you notice my misdirection by commenting anonymously? MoFo, the interns thing was a joke man… sorry.
At Wed Feb 02, 01:30:00 AM,
Harmony said…
I'm becoming more and more satisfied...
Now I just have to come up with something for JISM.
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